Alice,
Even if I had started my new life, its like I went back to high school all over again.
JULY 13, 2012. Friday the 13th. This was the day that the fever started to kick in.
I didn't have a clue of what this day may bring to me. Whether it's luck or not, I just want the day to be over. However, it seems that this day still left a scar to my heart that I wish that I could go back in time and do it all over again.
POSITIVE ATTITUDE was the goal for this day. I wanted to feel like I'm welcome to their eyes. As if that they could feel that I'm not the only one who is new to the college world. Truly, I met new and honorable people, all coming from the different walks of life. And unto this day, I still feel that they're my friends, even if I'm not yet close to them. In my perspective, I always see them as the people to be recognized because not only that they are ordinary people, but they are considered as the "intelligent ones". I see this to them because they are mature and civilized people. I had the chance of knowing them better by telling their stories of when they were in high school and those stories made me feel that I'm actually one of them. Sadly, the good memories did not last that long because for every misunderstanding that we had, tensions rise and conflicts can be very difficult to resolve our relationship as friends.
Do you get the feeling when someone destroys your reputation without them knowing you fully? I've been there and I always have done that. You see, I didn't know that my friends would be my worst enemies. After them making fun of me, I got back at them. And to think that I started the fight? NO NO NO!!! I was checking my Facebook account when suddenly, I read a post of my friend making fun of me and everyone liked it! I was so furious that the only way to get even with them is to do the same thing. After a few seconds, everyone reacted to my post saying that what I have done to them to make me react this way. EXCUSE ME SIR!!! But you're the only one who started the fight. I didn't do anything to you and now you complained that I'm destroying your reputation??? Its YOU who is the one that destroyed my reputation!!! Basically, they were the ones who started the fight and I was just defending myself for what I've done. After that, I was their greatest enemy that they have encountered with.
I WAS BULLIED. Sad but true. I didn't know that they would feel like that towards me. They were bullying me like there's no tomorrow. I couldn't imagine that until now, I could be bullied. When I was young, I was already bullied by many other children. And now that I'm in college, I am still bullied. People are so judgmental these days. I really learnt my lesson, TO NEVER TRUST NO ONE and TO CHOOSE MY FRIENDS WISELY and CAREFULLY. I think that people behave this way is because they are TOO INSECURE. That being by themselves is not good enough for them. By bullying others, they gain confidence and personality just to be recognized. But is their recognition to their friends in a GOOD way or in a BAD way? I really don't get why these people are so INSECURE. I really just don't get it!
As they say, "Insecurity reigns in an UGLY HEART of an EMPTY BRAIN". Yes, I really feel this way to those people who are still insecure. I really don't know what is the psychological reason why people behave this way. Is it for them to be famous or to be hated? It really irritates me whenever I see someone being bullied. This is the reason why the youth of today are extremely depressed or thinking of suicidal thoughts. The only thing that I want from those people who are insecure and those who hate me is RESPECT. Through respecting people, we would be able to understand what they are going through at the moment. This is the only thing that I want with this horrid and disgusting world.
If you feel this way Alice, I'll be there to rescue you.
P.S. I always felt like this over and over again.
Nathaniel
