Alice,
A Lifetime Curse. It kills me to hear myself right now. One thing's for sure, I was so positive of what I heard about my fault. It's not that I've been dishonest, it's just that loathe reality. After what I've spoken about myself about my future, it seems like I can't do it. I feel like I can't survive college easily. Sometimes, I gotta learn to survive college the old fashion way. Keep striving hard, let nothing come between you and success, and most importantly, to realize how your parents sacrificed a lot just to keep you in college. Sadly, it seems like I lost it. I easily give up and I don't know what to do after. I must be the stupidest person in this world right now and I'm not satisfied of what I've done.
Life. A simple yet complicated word. My life right now is still unstable. I'm trying to be independent as I live my life in college. But it seems that I still can't because I'm still living under the roof of my parents and they're watching my every move. I can't be free, I can't do anything what I want, and the worst of all, I'm not worth it. They tell me that I'm useless, like nothing or no one can help me. I feel hopeless, like I can't stand on myself alone. The problem is that they don't see me trying to live my life and to be independent to the people around me. Maybe that's just the way life it should be. No moment is a happy moment if you're living like this.
My life is really a topsy-turvy one. Like everything is upside down. All this time, I've been blind to the reality of life. My parents keep on avoiding me to let go on my own. They feel that I keep making a vital mistake which could cost my life. But what they don't see is that I'm living my life as it is right now. Maybe the reason why they are so overprotective is that they don't want to lose me as I go to the next chapter of my life or the fact that they're not ready to say goodbye to me as I move on to college. But that's life, sometimes, you gotta let things go, especially the things that you don't want to lose easily.
Am I satisfied with this? No, I'm not. My goals in life are to graduate with flying colors in college, find a decent and stable job, and to support my family from extreme poverty. I don't want to be the selfish one but when I have a job, the first thing I wanna do when I earn money is to buy things that I've always wanted in my life and it's a fact. I don't care if they would curse me for being selfish but I'm sorry, I gotta stick to my goals and make them happen for my own good. Sure, I would send my financial assistance to my family and that has been my lifetime goal. To make my parents feel that they're proud of me for what I have accomplished and to be more proud of me when I'll get a job that's worth sacrificing for. That's what my goals are and I to work and strive even harder to make these goals a reality.
You may say that I'm rude to all of this. Actually, I'm just a normal person trying to achieve his goals in life. I'm just trying would any person would do in life. To do it all over again in the same way. I'm always staying positive in whatever I do, for whatever choice I make, and for all my decisions in life. But it's inevitable that you can't always be happy for everything. Sometimes, frustrations in your life can get into you and make them a lesson to be a better person in the future. But whatever our reasons are, we know that these reasons are for our own good and for others' sake. I'm still happy for what we have accomplished together and let's hope that we could survive and graduate college in style.
Would you do the same thing, Alice?
Nathaniel
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